Forgiveness

Growth is funny when you actually do the work.

I’ve been studying personal and professional development for over 20 years and a big part of my own personal growth is committing to a forgiveness check at least once a quarter[update 2/13/12 once a week!].  As much as I’ve worked on forgiveness in my life, I find that my judgment of myself and others still sneaks in every once in a while and if I don’t address judgment for what it really is, an unwanted weed in the garden of my mind, it will take over and affect other areas of my life.

Well, last week I was thumbing through some of those old journals that contain the evidence of the work I’ve done,  and I found a forgiveness exercise I did right before some major shifts happened in my life.  It was a riot for me to read.  I couldn’t believe all the stuff that I allowed to come out of hiding.

Before that exercise, I THOUGHT, I had forgiven everything in my life.  Most of my life, I’ve been aware of the power of forgiveness.   I had purely selfish reasons in the beginning for wanting to forgive others.  I didn’t want my reaction to anyone or anything to control my life.  I really wanted to be free of any and all power I was giving to other people.  I needed to forgive.

This exercise was different.  I remember thinking, “I have nothing left to forgive. I am truly free!”  But I was committed to my growth and I knew how easily things can sneak in or in this case how easily our minds can trick us into believing our work is complete.

Here is what I wrote:

“Although I don’t feel any resentment, anger, disappointment, or judgment of others, I am sure there is something inside of me that needs to be released and let go.  Divine Love, help me release any judgment that is hidden beneath my awareness.”

Then I wrote, “If I did judge others, and if I did think I needed to forgive them for anything, what would I need to forgive them for?”

Then I let a rampage of judgment flow! (The names are HER and HIM to protect my innocence!)

“I forgive, HER, and HIM, and THEM for being more successful than me.”

“I forgive MTV for not airing my coaching segment on MADE.”

“I forgive HER for having a nicer house than me.”

“I forgive HIM for not sharing his knowledge.”

“I forgive HER for cussing every time we talked.”

“I forgive HIM for not working for free.”

“I forgive THEM for dying before they took action on their dreams.”

“I forgive HER for not being intuitive enough to know I needed to complete things, not CREATE something NEW.”

“I forgive my HS for cancelling that trip to the Bahamas the year I joined Marine Biology class.”

“I forgive HER for not handing me the answers.”

“I forgive HER for not paying me for that million dollar idea.”

“I forgive HER for acting on my idea.”

Then I started on ME.

“I forgive ME for not doing what I have to do to be as successful as I know I can be.”

“I forgive ME for not listening to my intuition more.”

“I forgive ME for not acting on some of the great ideas I’ve had in the past.”

“I forgive ME for still judging others, even though I strive to love and not judge.”

“I forgive ME for not pursuing money owed to me in the past.”

“I forgive ME for my judgment of myself.”

“I forgive ME for….

The list went on and on from here.  When I looked at that list, I realized that I really had a lot of judgments still in side me, and boy was that exercise revealing!  I was shocked at the time to see that I judged the success of others.   I was shocked that I judged people by their success of lack of courage to follow their dreams.  I know it is my life’s work, but I was JUDGING people for dying with their songs still in them.  As much as I thrive on helping people NOT die with their purpose still locked away, I also thrive on loving people unconditionally.  It really is a catch 24 of my work.

This forgiveness list revealed a lot more to me as well.  It revealed my relationship with money and it revealed where I wasn’t taking 100% responsibility for myself and giving that power to others.  You don’t have to be a coach or a psychic to read it and realize where I was on my road at the time I wrote it.

I always enjoy releasing judgment.  It makes me laugh at myself, and that in itself is a blessing, if you are someone who takes yourself too seriously at times.

You can join me on a rampage of forgiveness this week and see what new, interesting, or downright funny things come up for you.

And if you are really into learning more about forgiveness and using practical exercises to help you on your journey towards authentic wealth and ultimate self-expression, I encourage you to download my “Forgiveness Files”  they are free and easy to work through.

Remember not to take yourself too seriously this month, relax and enjoy where you are on your road to self-discovery!

Much Love and Success!

Dawn Nocera

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